Thursday, February 26, 2009


In the last year, I keep having this dream:

My parents own a home with around 100 bedrooms on a nature reserve-type setting. I know it's mid spring because there aren't quite leaves on the trees yet and the grass is still brown, but I'm happy it's getting warm. They are having a family reunion or large party of some kind and I want to get a good room for my boyfriend and I (although I have yet to formally meet said boyfriend in my dream). But, by the time I finish helping my parents set up and cook and clean, there are only a few rooms left, and as I search for a room, I keep running into, and trying to avoid, family I know. It's not determinant on how I feel about my relatives in reality, I'm just on a mission to find a kick-ass room.

I walk through several bedrooms. Here is where I'm impressed at my imagination's creativity, because I remember in great detail what all the rooms look like. They are all different colors and each has a different ambiance and lighting. My mom will be happy to know that even in my dream, her house is spotless. Some rooms are oddly shaped. Some rooms have very large windows with views of the woods outside, but these rooms also have no door or wall separating them from an adjacent room. Some rooms have no windows at all. There are a couple bedrooms I check out that have very large bathtubs in them. I seem especially excited about this. They are not like normal bathtubs and are also oddly shaped. Some are really shallow.

Ultimately, I never actually get a room because of two things: First, I can't decide if I want a room with an oddly shaped tub, or a room with large windows. Second, the mission is totally side-tracked when I run into my four younger cousins who have been frozen at age 10. They want to explore the upstairs, and we find a room that looks old and abandoned with a huge door. We open the door to find a ladder (of course we climb it). There is a large red and gold jewelry box that I open and a phantom or demon is released. It causes a panic between the five of us and we race down the ladder. Later, I returned to the room with the door and climbed the ladder. When I opened the box again, the spirit goes back in the box and then I wake up.

What is striking about this dream, beyond the fact that I seem to have issues with personal hygene, finding a place to sleep, and ghosts, is that I do way more thinking than speaking. It really isn't until the end, when I meet my cousins, that I speak. Most of my dream is me walking from room to room, thinking about each room.

Another weird part about this dream is that I have it so infrequently, that when I wake up, I don't initially remember having it before. I have it just often enough for me to make a blog post about it so everyone can question my sanity.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

With love, Maggie

Dear St. Paul,

It has come to my attention that you are unaware of how to handle yourself when it snows. Last night I had the misfortune of needing to go to the Mall of America (as it is the closest place that has a Baby Gap). Normally this drive would be about 15 minutes. However, given the light snow, since it is Minnesota and February, it took me nearly an entire hour. While I do understand it was snowing rather heavily for a moment, I feel that I need to remind you that it is Minnesota and February. Given the unseasonably warm weather we've been having, I'm a little forgiving of your surprise and unpreparedness for the storm (I can't bring myself to call it a blizzard since it was under six inches) Friday evening.

However, when I attempted to drive across the metro Saturday morning, I found it practically a miracle to get out of St. Paul alive. Don't get me wrong, you do an excellent job at plowing the freeways compared to Minneapolis. Even as I was driving through north Minneapolis on 94, I saw one of the poorest moments of snow plow planning at 10:30 am: five snow plows driving all in a row blocking every lane on the freeway. Cars were literally stopped from Dowling Ave. all the way to the 94/694 junction. As I drove up 94 towards Maple Grove, I couldn't help but laugh at the unsuspecting drivers heading into Minneapolis.

Regardless of what Minneapolis' actions may be after snowfall, I feel that your inability to plow the side streets and main roads after such a trivial accumulation is inexcusable. Also, I would like to know why you decided to neatly plow out every sidewalk before taking on main roads where heavy, large and fast moving objects slide all over the place. While I do find that sliding and losing moderate control over my vehicle can be fun at times within reason, I don't think it's safe when there are several cars in close proximity and when I need to be someplace in one piece. I would like to know what your proposed solution for this is. My suggestion is that, since it is Minnesota and February, you choose to plow out the streets before you let the sun do the work for you. Or, if the snow is becoming too tiresome, might I suggest moving to a warmer location such as Florida?

Best wishes,


Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The most cringe-worthy thing ever

When I was teaching 7th graders, I once handed out a worksheet identifying direct and indirect objects in sentences as part of a grammar unit.

Today, while subbing at a school a few blocks from the house I own in Minneapolis, a 12th grade student was working on the exact same worksheet (except it was printed on white paper instead of orange) and was complaining about how he didn't understand it when I sat down next to him.

My 7th graders made fun of me and that worksheet for being so easy.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Oh Burn, Dad