Thursday, October 18, 2007


Although I was unable to actually go to my husbands "meeting," and that is what I call it, I was able to interview him on how he and his friends interact and how the game is set up...barely. I do have some familiarity with the game, but have never played it. An ex-boyfriend also played it (I'm basically a nerd magnet) and his mother used to talk about how she always had to be the dungeon master.

The initial conversation I had with my husband went as follows:

Me: "So tell me about Dungeons and Dragons."

Mike: "Why do you want to know about that? What are you going to do? Who says I play Dungeons and Dragons? You can't prove anything!!"

Me: "Hey, man, I was just trying to be interested in your life."

Mike: "Yeah, well you'll never find my 12-sided dice. EVER!"

Me: "Jesus, sorry I asked."

Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little. But it was pretty close to that. The first thing I realized was that Dungeons and Dragons is an extremely secretive and guilty pleasure that was very difficult to talk about. My husband rarely, if ever talks about playing it, or even the people he plays with for that matter. I sometimes think he would rather I assume he just disappeared to an unknown world for six hours and mysteriously returns home around 11 that night...which is basically what he does anyway.

There definitely seems to be a social class within the game itself. The DM (or, dungeon master, for all of us non-dungeon master's guide holders), has all the supplies and has been sending objects like oddly shaped dice and booklets home with my husband. He has charts and white boards and all sorts of other things that Mike has used to assess his worth to the group. I found this out when I asked if he wanted to host D & D night at our house. His absolutely shocked face clearly stated we did not measure up to the luxury requirements of D & D.

Another thing that is most irritating to him is if he has to miss a meeting. Apparently this is extremely important to him as a "character," because missing meetings causes him to lose bonus points, or skill points. When I raised an eyebrow to show he was being melodramatic about "bonus points," he quickly yelled, "you don't understand! The more skill points I get, the more powerful I get, and the more things I can do (insert Napoleon Dynamite-like 'gosh' or 'idiot' here)!"

Although he won't admit it, I have tried to tell him that maybe his obsession for getting more points was getting in the way of a happy marriage or other important things, like reality, he shakes his head and informs me that I just don't know anything about D & D.


  1. This is great! Before I read your post, I knew nothing about this secret, underground cult of D&D "meetings." It reminds me of Fantasy Football with the opportunity to earn points or status or whatever. Maybe it's Fantasy Football for the...let's call them analytical people? Anyhow, I wonder what it would be like if you dressed in disguise and showed up at one of the "meetings."

  2. Oh Maggie...

    You have published my secret to the world, what will I do?

    In reference to the other two comments on your post, the video that Genevieve posted is just about right on as to how D&D games are. Just watch it and you will get an idea for what I do once every couple of weeks! (I'm not being sarcastic, it is right on..)

    And as to Olive's comment.. I play D&D and Fantasy Football...

    Oh how true some stereotypes are... I work in IT, and I am razzed as the uncool guy because I like sports.. :)

  3. Wow!! I remember when my husband was in college at saint John's University and the room next to us hosted these "secret meetings." I think the interview you did with your husband did give me more insight into this world. I still do not get the attraction, but maybe you need to be male.